So this week...well the pictures I sent are of a long time investigator from El Salvador showing us how to make pupusas! They are this delicious Salvadoranian food- like stuffed tortillas kind of. You eat them with this yummy red sauce and this cabbage/vinegar combo. I eat them a lot. They are GOOOOD. It was so fun to learn how to make them, I hope I can perfect the art and make them for you all (clearly from that second picture I am still learning...she kept saying, "no...more like this...no no no...like this...hahahaha)
We had some silly things happen this week- we were praying with a new investigator and after we taught him how to pray, he gave a beautiful prayer. Included in the prayer he prayed that the Virgin Mary would be with him and watch after him...one of those unexpected mid-prayer surprises!
Poor Hna Farley wakes me up nightly to get me to a) stop snoring or b) stop talking. About 2 weeks ago I started using earplugs to block out myself...I've been sleeping so much better! I think I'm getting my typical mid-transfer illness though, which is lame. About once a transfer my body says, "Dear Hermana, you have pushed me to my limits in every possible way and so now I am going to just stop for awhile." 8 hours of sleep just does not get the job done.
I had the best tender mercy yesterday- we taught Ginny our recent convert and her now fiance, Ben, about the plan of salvation. We had her teach us (using the little funny diagrams I made one p-day) and she knew it! Down to quoting me exactly (and I was quoting the pamphlet, which was quoting scripture- so she was quoting scripture! Bah!) Bless her, I was just SO HAPPY! I have not seen a lot of baptisms on my mission, and I may not see many in my time. I know that that is not the measure of a successful missionary, but wow does that bring joy to my heart to see her really understanding. Those moments when I think, "I have fulfilled my purpose!" Feels so good. I can't remember if I told you, but Marcos, a recent convert from Chesapeake I found out got his Patriarchal Blessing a few weeks ago. I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO TEACH HIM THAT! Well, as far as I know anyway, haha. That was the lesson I wrote home to you about that was so hilarious because I was teaching via charades because I did not know any of the words! Warmed my heart...that even though many missionaries and members have since cleared up my botched lesson and helped him get where he is, that I played some small role in helping him progress.
It has been a growing week. We had a table time with the zone leaders (which is like a little meeting to help us with whatever bc they can't go on exchanges with us), and when it all started out they were like, so...how's your area...? And I was l like, "It's AWESOME. We have 4 people praying about being baptized, which is like 4x the amount I've ever had, so I'm just tickled!"
But as those inspired zone leaders began to ask more and more inspired questions and about half way through that almost had me in tears. All my stresses and frustrations from so long were being uncovered, one question at a time. So many things I thought I had just brushed off turns out were still very much there and still very much bothering me. Missionary work is supposed to be hard and supposed to push you and supposed to stretch beyond what you think is possible, and in that moment I realized just how far I'd been stretching. When you don't see a lot of fruits of your labors it's sometimes hard to keep pushing through with a smile. It's hard to keep up the faith that there ARE prepared people who WILL receive the gospel. To keep preparing for the hundreds of people we teach that will choose not to accept. To teach hundreds of less-actives who have no desire to return. To try to inspire members to do missionary work who just don't care. It's a little wearing sometimes when all the planning and role playing and studying for the ONE, and that one isn't ready or doesn't want to progress. And then when your companions are struggling or you are struggling and everybody is just trying to be like Jesus, but having a hard time, and you are just so aware of how very un-jesus like you and they are...well, it's emotionally and spiritually intense. So all that came up to my surface this week out of nowhere, and I found myself asking myself the age-old question: "why am I here?" I thought about how I decided to serve a mission.
When my roommate got her call to Idaho and the Holy Ghost said to me, "That's what you need to be doing" and I was like "WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! NO NO NO NO..." And I was shocked out of my mind, but I was so sure that that was what God wanted me to be doing with my life. (Not to mention to everyone else's shock!) And through the drama of getting the mission call (you may recall the tears) and everything else, remembering that moment has really helped me. That even though maybe I wouldn't have chosen this for myself and maybe there are some miserable days and really this is all very optional- that really truly, this is God's will for me. And I always have the choice to accept that or not, but that my eternal happiness is going to be even greater if I follow his will. So that at the end of the day, I can stand at the judgement bar of God and have him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You sure messed up a lot, but you tried to become who I knew you could be. Welcome home." And then I realize, HEY, that is EXACTLY the feeling I'm trying to help other people feel! And so as cliche as it all is, it is still exactly right. So, the funk is over, and I'm back to my happy self :)
I love you all so much! Give Ry the biggest squeeze and send me lots of pictures!!!
Hermana Sinclair
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