Family!
I hope no one was panicking that I didn't email home yesterday- there was a blizzard here! In VA everyone PANICS when snow comes, but this was a pretty legit storm. It started snowing Christmas night and through Sunday. When all was said and done I think the official count was 14.2 inches- enough for not one, but TWO SNOW DAYS! Pretty much we just got banned from leaving the apartment, so we did some studying and letting writing and those sorts of things. I love how Ry gets put on lockdown because the government is unstable and I get put on lockdown because there is snow outside. Classic.
This week was kind of bizarre with the holiday, exchanges, mission conference, and the snow days. I don't feel like we've had a very consistent week since I've gotten here!
Exchanges as an English speaking sister were kind of crazy, not gonna lie. I was STOKED. It was quite thrilling to know what was happening in every single lesson! The front-step terror was just completely gone. It was so much less stressful and I FELT like a missionary because I got to really PARTICIPATE in sharing the good word. Ironically though, in that area there is a less-active named Cecibel who is from El Salvador who we went to visit. The sister I was on exchanges with assured me that she spoke great English, because I informed her in no uncertain terms that if we had to rely on my spanish we were in big trouble. Cecibel was just delightful- and through her slow talking and a miracle from God I understood almost everything she said to me in spanish. Which was a lot. Her daughter was sick earlier in the week with pnemonia and the elders had given her a blessing, I said something like, "wow, the power of God is incredible" and she launched into this lengthy story about her son who is still in El Salvador who had this miraculous healing at church by the branch president. She was moved to tears several times retelling the story and I knew it was an important moment for her to think about again to remind her of the need for her to come to church and cultivate her relationship with God. The English sister just stood and smiled (story of my life) and I was able to have this entire wonderful conversation with her. Oh MAN it was AWESOME. I wish God would bless my ears like that ALL the time! Overall I learned a lot about how other sisters work and by the end of the day I knew that I was called Spanish speaking- it just felt different talking to Cecibel, I don't really know how to describe it, I just knew that I was set apart to teach in Spanish.
Mission Conference was stellar and very Christmasy! President Perry and his family are awesome. President Perry addressed a lot of things that missionaries have written him about in their letters, so we spent some time talking about humility and inadequacy. I was honestly kind of shocked that other missionaries felt inadequate. I mean in my head it made sense, but I just thought, "man! You think YOU feel inadequate?! You're probably an AMAZING missionary compared to what my poor companion deals with everyday!" I imagine that's what support groups feel like, "what?! YOU, TOO?!" So that was re-assuring. And we sang and did Christmasy things and it was a nice time to recharge.
Christmas- wow, it was a weird day. It was so un-missionary like, that it left us feeling kind of...disgruntled? But the phone call was wonderful, I loved hearing everyone's voices and laughs. Ry's spanish was AWESOME. Sorry I cried the whole time- dont' worry, they were happy tears :) I know I may have said this a hundred times, but I felt so strongly about going on a mission that the idea of doing anything else right now just seems dumb. I pretty much think of that every single day. Because every single day at some point I find myself thinking, "Self- are you sure about this?" And my Self isn't so sure, but God is, so I just hang on to that for dear life. People were so good to us on Christmas and fed us a TON and gave us sweet gifts, but overall I think it's a good thing Christmas only comes one time a year. Mom, I loved the pictures so so much, thank you, thank you!!!
There is so much emotional craziness for me as a missionary- I mean, there has always been a lot of emotional craziness in my life, so maybe that is normal. It just feels so...intense? I can be SO happy one minute and SO stressed another and SO overwhelmed the next and SO at peace the minute after that. It's interesting trying to find a balance as a trainer-greenie companionship too- Not gonna lie, I'll be excited when this newness phase is over. I know I'm supposed to have joy in the journey, so it's probably just that being continually humbled is kind of unpleasant and it's daunting what a long way I have to go. And clearly I haven't figured out yet that it's not all about me. Oh boy. Growing pains. I know that they're good for me in my head, the news just hasn't traveled to my heart yet. I spent my whole hour of personal study the other day on my knees and I just knew that was only the beginning...
Well everyone, thank you for the love and support. Really truly, I am so blessed to have you all and I MEAN that. Every time I get a letter or an email or feel a little extra boost that I know is from someone's prayer I am SO grateful for the blessings of my family and friends. I am blessed to be a missionary, the world looks so different through these eyes. It is crazy going from the world to the MTC for 2 months then back into the world with a very different purpose and perspective- God loves his children, that I do know. And I'm grateful he lets us struggle sometimes. It is an amazing experience to hear investigators testify that we are representatives of Jesus Christ. I know that we ARE and that Jesus Christ and God the Father LIVE and that there is ONE WAY that we can return to live with them. It's a beautiful plan that you don't have to take anyone else's word for. Even more beautiful that we are called as imperfect people to help other imperfect people.
Godspeed!
Hermana Sinclair
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